He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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