he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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