So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
