the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
