Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
