Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
