At least make sure they are 18
Why
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All the doctor said was why
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
