No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
