i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
