I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
