so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
