chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I want a musical about memes.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
