she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
