belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
