I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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