i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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