Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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