Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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