Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
