I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
