I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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