Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
