She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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