I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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