I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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