He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
