I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
