When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
