you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
