Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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