I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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