At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
