I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
