i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
