you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
