I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
too bad you live with your parents still
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
