he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
