Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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