Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
