In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You can't just leave with hair like that
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
