PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
