Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Randomize
