hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
