Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
