Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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