If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
