I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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