and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
