He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
