woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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