matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
